Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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