how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
