He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
