if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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