Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
