Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
