Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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