So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
