just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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