...so i touched it.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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