so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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