I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
