Just took my morning after pill in the library
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm both gender and math confused
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
