would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
