Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
