I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I am naked and annoyed.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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