I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I need moral support for this bender
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
