Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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