It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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