Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Enjoy the penises
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
