Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
