No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
