Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize