I hate your face
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
