well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
