So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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