with your own penis?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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