I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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