Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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