it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize