Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
