dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
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