Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
