David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
