im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
