so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
jump out the window naked night went bad
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
