a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
