Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
