It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
