I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Sober January is a disaster.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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