Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
