I must be too annoying 4 u.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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