forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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