Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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