I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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