OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
