He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
