Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I can feel your judgement through the phone
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize