I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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