so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
