remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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