i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
