did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
