I puked a lego.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
