Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
