So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize