Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
