party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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