Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
