she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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