do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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