babies were throwing up all over the place
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
